Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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