im drinking this country out of the recession.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
two words: eviction party
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
