I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
