But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
