I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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