please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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