Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
