we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
