The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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