ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
