3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
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Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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