Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
