Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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