This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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