I wish I could punch you in the face.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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