i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
