Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
