I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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