hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
