like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
