bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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