Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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