Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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