It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
