Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
