Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
