none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
