just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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