Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
