Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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