Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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