I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
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You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
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Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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