He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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