I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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