Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and you said cock pushups were impossible
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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