I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
