dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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