I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I love you.
Bad choice
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
