It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
