You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
What a dumb baby whore.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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