Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
