Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
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Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
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you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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