I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
