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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize