Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he was CRYING into my vagina
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
