i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
