every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
high people should be assigned attendants
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
