Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
