Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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