I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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