just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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