I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
