Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
