But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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