She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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