you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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