Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
