I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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