..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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