If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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