he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
