Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
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Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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