I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
