So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
