Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
