I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
