have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
you win again, gameday.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
