all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
