come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
