Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
