I heard we made out
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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