My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
